I’ve been talking to this guy for about two months, and I genuinely really like him. The only thing that keeps bothering me is how differently we seem to approach money, and I’m trying to figure out if it’s a compatibility issue or if I’m just not used to it.
It’s not really a wealth gap in the sense that he’s objectively richer than me. My mom passed away, and I inherited money from her, so on paper I may technically have more money than he does. The difference is how we act with money.
He “works for himself” and makes good money, and he spends it very freely. I don’t know what he does for work. He’ll randomly send me money for no reason, even though we’re not dating or even exclusive, I’ve never asked for it, and I’ve told him multiple times that I don’t want or need it. It honestly makes me uncomfortable because I’ve never been someone who accepts anything, especially money, from people. I’m much more likely to be the one giving.
He also brought me flowers on our first date, which was really sweet. I never even got flowers from my previous boyfriends while we were actually dating. So it’s not that I don’t appreciate thoughtful gestures, I really do. It just confuses me that he’s doing it.
What also confuses me is that sometimes his attitude around money comes across differently. For example, I took him around my city (he lives in the suburbs), and he acted kind of pretentious about some things. He also talks a lot about how he could “never work a desk job” and how he could never live a normal 9-to-5 life. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it sometimes comes across as dismissive or ungrateful in a way I can’t really explain.
I’m wondering if this is just me not being used to dating someone who is financially comfortable and generous, or if it’s a genuine values difference. I was raised to be very independent and to never expect anyone else to pay my way, so someone randomly sending me money feels almost foreign.
Has anyone dated someone whose relationship with money was completely different from theirs? Did it end up being a real compatibility issue, or did you adjust over time? I just don’t know if I am overthinking this. Thanks all!
